Wednesday, March 22, 2006

So, this week I'm at PLA. PLA is the Public Librarians association conference. It is in Boston. Since Monday I have been making observations about public service, librarians, Boston, and the experience of conventions. I will endeavor to use this post to elaborate on anything that comes to mind:

1. I had no interest whatsoever in coming to Boston.

2. Boston is cute. It is a very mellow city to visit, or at least the theater district is. Lots of good restrants. Shopping is good, too. Botiques a go-go. The architecture is genuinely interesting, unlike alot of cities. I still don't care about the history and all that happy crap.

a. The water here tastes funny.

b. Boston is full of librarians. And you can tell: lot's of women who manage to look both elegant and frumpy. Lot's of gangly, enthusiastic men with bad facial hair.

3. I can't walk a single block around the convention center without hitting three restraunts that I want to eat in. I have made a schedule of cuisines. It is very simple really: I plan to eat sushi three times, at Irish pubs twice, and then elsewhere.

a. One of the reasons I have decided I like Boston is that there are Stabucks all over the place... but there are also Au Bon Pains! All over the place! I avoid Starbucks for political reasons: ie, they, as a corporation, believe that Americans do not deserve free speech. Plus, Au Bon Pain has much better pastry.

4. Travelling for work puts people in such an artificial environment that I'm surprised it dosn't lead to spontaneous suicide. It takes you out of your natural environment, composed of the people and objects you generally choose to distract yourself with. It replaces that with: a sterile environment, a restless desire to fill time, a constant need to pull out your credit card to replace your home and hobbies with tourist entertainment, and you're always wondering if the cute girl at the comics booth will think you're a freak if you ask her to dinner. For the company. If you have half a brain, you eat well on the company's dime (but not too well), and you end up feeling like a fatted calf afterwards.

a. I cannot use hotel soap. Uniformly, it dries out my skin like nobody's bidness.

b. My boss shows up tomorrow. I will then, hopefully, have company for dinner.

5. My Hotel room has two bathrooms. It doesn't seem big enough for that. How queer is that?

6. The Hills Have Eyes is sucktastick filmaking. Really. Nice looking, but a stupid, manipulative plot.

I don't know why you say goodbye...

I say hello.

If:

I were 14.

And:

I were in an AOL chatroom.

This:

Would be my opening:

I am soooo drunk.

This is what comes of a lifetime of abstinence. The lifetime, of course, being that of my three and a half year old daughter, who causes said abstinence. After all, there are duckies and puzzles to be purchased.

I had intended to recommence my journal when I had been retired a year, which would be 4 weeks from now, give or take.

However, in four weeks, I won't be doing anything interesting again. So liquered up and sitting in a hotel room with a laptop, I begin writing in my blog again.

To quote Krusty: "Oooh. That's not good."

There are ground rules.

I will try to post weekly. There are no guarantees. I know my legions of fans will be disappointed.

I had been considering posting anonymously, which means starting yet another blog. The problems with that are many. I am vain and want to become known for my opinions, being one. I can't update one blog, let alone two, being two. The benefits include anonymity, a plus for a professional with as much natural bile as I have. The compromise is this: I will freely criticize all parts of public service, my chose profession, in as polite a fashion as I can possibly manage. Hopefully I will not end up fired.