Friday, November 30, 2007

I am in a mood. Don't know what it is. Every year in November we start thinking about our "goals" for next year. We come up with projects that we need to complete. Every year, I keep coming up with projects to help move the library forward and provide the patrons better service

Inevitably, my brain hijacks itself during the process. For some reason, it's especially bad this year. This is the list of 2008 goals that I want to suggest:

1) Finally oversee the cloning of hyper-intelligent monkeys to act as tech support for our internet users and gofers for Rolfe.

2) We need to find a way to liven up book discussion and author readings: how about killer robots?

3) The head of circulation is creating a disaster recovery plan. I have volunteered to write the zombie attack portion. Alternately, I can write the Giant Monster Attack or Alien Invasion portions.

4) Personal goal: Scar half of face with acid. Live in the Western Michigan University steam tunnels. Kidnap graduate student to do chores around the steam tunnels while I compose an opera of transcendent beauty.

Wouldn't I be a pip at your staff meetings?

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